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I MADE HER IN SUCH A WAY, THAT SHE WOULD NEED ME. I MADE HER MORE LONESOME THAN SHE WOULD LIKE TO BE… ONLY BECAUSE I NEED FOR HER TO LEARN AND DEPEND ON ME… I KNOW HER HEART I KNOW IF I HAD NOT MADE HER LIKE THIS, SHE WOULD GO HER OWN CHOSEN WAY AND FORGET ME, HER CREATOR.

- GOD -

rescue.

i need you Jesus
come to my rescue
where else can i go?
there's no other name by
which i am saved
You capture me with grace
i will follow You.

this world has nothing for me...

mercies.

His are new every morning.

i want my Father to be pleased.
renewing this childlike joy in Him (:

january.

l e s s o n s .
small ones,
learned everyday
from the Greatest Teacher of all.


i love being a part of sunday school.
it's so silly but i almost teared up when singing 
give thanks with those playful handmotions,
that only adults would call silly.


&now, 
let the weak say, i am strong
let the poor say, i am rich
because of what
the Lord has done, for us


returning to that child-loving & child-like heart i once had.... (:


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random journal entry quotes
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solitude, silence, prayer.

solitude ≠ being alone, 

but being alone with God.

silence ≠ not speaking, 

but listening to God.

But let us not be too literal about silence. After all, silence of the heart is much more than silence of the mouth. 'A man may seem to be silent, but if his heart is condemning others he is babbling ceaselessly. But there may be another who talks from morning till night and yet he is truly silent.

true silence.

It is the mystery that the heart, which is the center of our being, is transformed by God into His own heart, a heart large enough to embrace the entire universe. Through prayer we can carry in our heart all human pain and sorrow, all conflicts and agonies, all torture and war, all hunger, loneliness and misery, not because of some great psychological or emotional capacity, but because God's heart has become one with ours.

As long as ministry only means that we worry a lot about people and their problems; as long as it means an endless number of activities which we can hardly coordinate, we are still very much dependent on our own narrow and anxious heart.

The great emphasis on prayer in ministry is not meant as an incentive to be less involved with people or to leave untouched our society with its many struggles.

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not working towards excellence

but towards doing my best for God.

striving to be a "good & faithful servant."

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time doesn't heal.

God does.

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even with wrong motives,

God's truth & love & grace leak through.

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FAILURE.

be humble to say "idk" so we can learn.

we have the wrong attitude about failure.

in order to grow, we must learn/have failures!

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we have a brighter future than we understand.

it's not that our desires are too great, but too small.

"you ain't seen nothing yet..." (;

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in our society, we are constantly making ourselves the victim.

dont forget about the people you hurt. even unintentionally.

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the enemy wants to bring us down & bring division / miscommunication / view flaws / shortcomings.

the world tells us to sever ties / get revenge / hate. 

we need to forgive.

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[abt gossip] dont feed the fire.

... we naturally do it. dont.

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bette midler - the rose

today's testimony song is daddy's favorite song (:

fragile.

i searched the world 
for a song that i could sing,
praise to my king,
a gift that i could bring.
but no music i found could compare to You.

not one could do
justice to Your glory.
what are my songs, compared to Yours?


You speak
with thunder
&lighting
Your voice shakes the mountains,
the foundations of the earth

&all i
can offer
is this fragile breath


with each one i'll praise You
with each one i'll praise You more

- todd agnew. this fragile breath

sang the words right out of my mouth. (:

provision.

realized trying to be financially independent is difficult.
spent $400 on plane tickets.
hesitantly spent $80 on retreat.
spent $$ on a couple belated gifts.
tithed the only cash [$1] i had in my wallet.
worried about summer missions finances.
worried about $50 spent on groceries today.
worried about living expenses.
worried about paying rent.
worried about ~$200 spent on books.
worried about having to ask parents for money.
worried about losing my savings already.


got refunded $1,835 from the school.

God provides.

too funny. isnt it?

retreat.

blessed.

i have so much to work on.

prayer.

give me a heart.

to be continued...